


Alex Manes Deserves Good Things

by mansikka



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Deserves Nice Things, Birthday, Dreams and Nightmares, Friendship, Future, Moving On, Post-Canon, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22740094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Alex prepares to leave Roswell for a fresh start.
Comments: 105
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

_Alex Manes deserves good things._

The words are scribbled on a napkin carefully folded over twice, its creases distorting the letters though not his memory of them being written. Alex could, if he wanted, evoke all sorts of other memories from that night. The music playing on the jukebox in the corner of a brightly lit bar in Berlin; the name of the brand of beer that he'd tried over and over to pronounce properly almost knotting his tongue in the process; the _relief_ washing through him for being away from his Air Force base on leave for a few days. And _Jake_, of course, whose handwriting Alex is staring at currently. Blue eyes, kind smile, light brown hair just a _little_ too long and no doubt cut short again just hours after they had parted.

There are some people in this world that, Alex thinks, are meant to be his people. The kind of people who would call him out on poor behavior, out-sass him when he's having one of those nights, yet also listen when the words that race around his head looking for release finally find their way from his mouth. The kind of people he would also drop everything to help, whose happiness makes _his_ world a little brighter. Those whose messages, emails, and _voices_ could cut through any bad mood, yet also break Alex's heart whenever they were in trouble.

Alex _had _thought his people were here in Roswell. Liz, Maria, _Michael_; hell knows he's spent a decade thinking of their faces whenever literal hell broke loose. They have all kept him company, kept him alive, in a way, giving him something hopeful to hold on to, to survive whatever he was going through at the time. Michael more than any of them, really, the unfathomable, endless, agonizing love he feels for a man Alex would happily spend his whole life with. Who is never on the same page as him when _he_ is ready. Who has his own agonies and heartaches to deal with before he can really ever share his world with another person.

Alex no longer thinks these people are his people. He doesn't resent them, any of them; not really, anyway. Liz isn't to blame for being loyal to Maria. Maria might have known enough to know what Michael means to _him_, but why should she deny herself happiness even if her supposed best friend's heart was shattered in the process? Just because _he_ would never do that to _her_, or another person, doesn't mean those around him feel the same loyalty to _him_. And that's... okay. That's just how it is sometimes. Just because Alex is sure—more than he is sure about anything else—that Michael is the one and only love of his life, doesn't mean anyone else, or even the universe agrees with him. So he'll wish Maria well, hope her life is a happy one. Alex just doesn't know if he can be around to watch. He certainly can't bring himself to say the words face to face.

And Michael, of course, Alex thinks, his heart breaking all over again; how can he resent him any good thing at all? He can't, not even for a second, not even for a moment. Alex will always love him, no matter how hard he tries not to, or tries to forget. He just doesn't think he can bear witness to someone else being the one to make him smile. _He_ could have done that, had life been kinder to them both, had Alex not seen Michael's hand shattering under his father's hammer every time he even _thought_ someone might see them together. That is his issue, one he'll have to deal with on his own. Michael doesn't deserve to be hidden away like he always was when they were together. And the thing is, Alex isn't really sure, now, that they were really ever together at all. Not properly, anyway, and not for enough time for him to be sat here in his lonely cabin with his body bowed forward, ribs aching from being doubled over crying for as many hours as he has. His eyes shouldn't be raw, and his hands shouldn't tremble just for the certainty he feels, that they will never know the softness of Michael's skin again. That is a life that is behind him now. Or _will_ be, just as soon as he convinces himself to set off.

_Alex Manes deserves good things_.

Alex reads the words again, has lost count of how many times he has unfolded this napkin and not truly believed them. Jake knows about Michael, of course, how Alex has always thought they were some kind of star-crossed lovers who might, if they were lucky, just get their happy ending; even if neither of them put the effort in at the same time all of the time. Jake knows about his dad too, and his mom, the life Alex left behind in Roswell stepping into a career he'd never intended to have. 

Jake is one of his people; easy to talk to, always ready to listen, forever keeping Alex from spiraling in his own thoughts. His is the voice that gently coaxes Alex from his couch, makes him throw the strap of his bag across his shoulder, leave the note he's written for _Kyle_ of all people, and make his way out to his car without a single glance back. Maybe Kyle is one of his people; though from now on, one from afar. Kyle will probably be the only one to realize he isn't around anymore, and the thought should make Alex sad. But what he really feels now is _resigned_ to being nothing but a memory to everyone else in this town. It's okay. And even if it isn't okay right now, then it _will_ be. Alex is sure about _that_, if nothing else.

Jake is army—now, _ex_ army. The first of Alex's _people_ to have officially served their last tours. Sarah is still on a base over in Afghanistan, Augustine in Korea, and Nadim in Turkey. It is the memory of Nadim's bellowing laughter that gives Alex the courage to turn the key to start the engine, make him brave enough to begin his drive. Though it is that conversation with Jake from now what seems so long ago that keeps Alex's boot on the gas pedal. Jake, who walked into that bar sheltering from the rain, then sank on to a barstool beside Alex, where they struck up a conversation and then talked for the entire night. Jake has never let Alex spiral into self-pity or feeling sorry for himself; not that Alex allows _himself_ many days like that, of course. Though Jake has also always defended Alex; against all the things he blames himself for, that, through Jake, Alex has come to accept he had no control over. Some of those things revolve around _Michael_, though because there are so many things Alex won't _ever_ stop blaming himself for that also revolve around Michael, _Michael_ is a subject Alex and Jake have learned to agree to disagree over.

Until now, that is.

When Alex had walked away from Michael's Airstream finally accepting he wasn't returning any time soon, he'd driven in a daze, pulling over at a diner and forcing himself to eat. Jake's had been the first number he'd called, and it was Jake's soothing voice that had kept Alex from breaking down in full view of the Roswell gossips who would no doubt already know what he was crying for. Jake's gentle suggestion that Alex needed to take some time for himself, his offer of his spare room for as long as he needed it; these were the things that kept Alex from sinking into a despair like he hadn't felt since waking up in a military hospital with his _stump_. Not all that long ago, but also a lifetime. So much of Alex's world has changed since then.

Jake's were the words that put strength in Alex's spine as he walked into his base and accepted his honorable discharge. And it is Jake's optimism that has kept him company ever since walking away from that base, reminding Alex that maybe a little time away would clear his head, give him room to breathe and really think about what he wants to do with his life next. Alex looking into setting up his own business was all on _Alex_, though; even if when he'd mentioned the idea to Jake while packing his few possessions together, Jake's enthusiasm and excitement for him further pushed Alex down the path he is now taking.

What Alex needs now is _easy_, _uncomplicated_, and more than anything, a _friend_. That is what he has in Jake, whose apartment in San Francisco promises Alex a new beginning that he really, really can't wait to start. And actually believes now that he deserves. It's taken a while, but Alex can now think the words, can even say them out loud, and not slip into thinking he is a fraud.

_Alex Manes deserves good things_.

Alex smiles for the thought as he drives out of Roswell, flipping the sign off as he passes it, and turning his attention to only what is ahead.


	2. Chapter 2

"What about you, Alex? Surely you'll eat another slice?"

Alex's stomach protests, but there is no way he can look into the eyes of Mrs. Flores and make himself say no.

"Of course," he says, holding his bowl out to her and earning himself the reward of a beaming smile.

"See, Jacob?" Mrs. Flores calls already halfway to the kitchen. "_Alex_ likes my apple pie."

"Ma, I _love_ your apple pie," Jake calls out in frustration, then laughs at Alex as he sinks down in his chair beneath the table, unpopping the top button of his jeans as he does. "Suck up."

"Damn right I am," Alex hisses back at him, sitting back up now that his jeans aren't digging into his stomach quite so much. "How did you grow up eating food like this every day and end up looking like _that_?"

Jake is _sculpted_. Broad shoulders, narrower waist, all lean muscle and tanned skin; if Alex didn't know the hour run he takes every morning or the weights he lifts three times a week out on the decking at home, then he might at least pretend to curse Jake for having unfairly perfect genes. Which he might do anyway, just to tease him, because it's _fun_ watching Jake get flustered. Jake is the kind of guy who has an aversion to compliments for his appearance. He'll take praise that he's doing great things for his students now that he has retrained as a high school science teacher. And he'll accept, with limited complaint, random stops in the street offering him one of those _thank you for your service _speeches he sometimes gets when an old neighbor sees him for the first time in a while. Alex's been _with_ him for a couple of those, and has smiled, and thanked, and then tried to escape very quickly when would-be well-wishers realize he is a _veteran_ as well. But the moment anyone says the slightest thing to refer to how attractive he is, Jake's head sinks into his neck as he raises his shoulders making him turtle-like, and Alex fights to stop himself laughing for it. Most of the time.

Jake shrugs his shoulders at him now with only a _little _of his usual turtle performance. Alex thinks it's because he's too full from lunch to move. Sunday lunches with Jake's mom have become a staple of Alex's life here in San Francisco. He _knew_ he should have put on looser fitting jeans. So really he has no one to blame but himself when Mrs. Flores returns with the largest wedge of apple pie he might have seen in his life; complete with two large scoops of ice cream. He smiles his thanks, earning himself an affectionate pat on the shoulder as she passes behind him, then picks up his spoon for round two of dessert. He wants to convince himself he'll go for a walk when they are back home to work some of it off, but right now all Alex thinks he is good for, for the rest of the day, is passing out on the couch.

"So. Alex. What is this week looking like for you?"

Alex rushes to swallow his mouthful of pie, holding up his hand in apology for making Mrs. Flores wait. "I'm meeting three new clients. And I have two full days of work already planned."

"I hope there is some _rest_ time in there," Mrs. Flores says with a shrewd, motherly look for him that Alex can't help smiling for. She _has_ mothered him; ever since he arrived in San Francisco. Alex had parked up outside Jake's after his long drive here, stepping straight into a much-needed hug, let Jake lead him to the couch where he spilled the last of his tears for _Roswell_, then had feasted on the rich, creamy lasagne Mrs. Flores had sent over to welcome him with. Alex met her the very next morning, and has been quietly adoring of her ever since. The feeling is mutual, clearly, for the way she _fusses_.

"I promise there is rest," Alex replies, smiling when she pats him on the forearm then nods for him to keep eating.

"I'm not sure Alex knows what _rest _means," Jake says, winking at him. "I come back from school, Alex has worked all day, cleaned the entire house, _and_ made dinner. I want to pass out just for thinking about marking anything after we eat, and he's _still_ working. Wouldn't even let me do the dishes last night. Alex is a _machine_."

"Jacob," Mrs. Flores says in the reproachful tone that Alex can't help ducking his head for to hide his smile. "It's not good to let your guest do all the work. It is your house too."

"There is no _letting_. He just _does_ it."

Alex wants to say that he does _so much_ because Jake insists on letting him stay with him for nothing. He wants to add that he _needs_ to keep busy, because it is all he's ever known. And he would like to say just how much he appreciates how accepting all the Flores family have been of him; from Jake and his mother here to all the extended cousins, aunts, uncles, and everyone else. But he doesn't, because as welcome as he feels, he doesn't yet feel confident enough to interrupt their conversation. And he also needs to focus on finishing this slice of pie. But he happily listens to Jake and his mom speaking wondering if this is how other families spend their Sunday afternoons. It's not something he has experienced much before now.

"I can't believe you finished that slice," Jake says after they've hugged his mom goodbye and climbed into the car.

"I can't believe you didn't _help_."

"She did the puppy eye thing on you. You're too _easy_."

Alex smiles, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the headrest as Jake drives. "You're just pissed we didn't get extra pie to take back with us."

"Alex. We have another whole one plus those empanadas you'll no doubt inhale for dinner tonight. We didn't need another slice. Well, _you_ did, apparently."

Alex prods him in the leg without even looking, laughing for the sting of his hand being slapped away.

Everything is so easy here in Sea Cliff. Alex doesn't let himself think on it too much for not wanting to dwell on the past, but it's a little over six months since he left Roswell. The streets are familiar to him, the stores they go to, and the cafes he likes to work in from time to time. There are many he is on nodding acquaintances with, and a few more that are starting to become friends.

Alex is happy here, far happier than he feared he'd allow himself to be. It is why it was easy to let Jake talk him into taking at least a month just to _exist_ here, instead of pushing himself into working immediately. Alex is thankful for it, that month giving him time to catch up on so much lost sleep, work through some difficult thoughts, and put some order in his mind. The lull of the car beneath him as they drive could make him doze as he thinks about it all, but Alex uses the time to quietly catalog how thankful he is for the life he is building. It's a new tactic he's employed for wanting something tangible to help with any slips in his mood, and so far has done him wonders. Not that his mood has slipped today. It just hits him sometimes just how _lucky_ he is to have the life he does now.

"You still with me over there?" Jake calls as they pull up outside the house just minutes later.

Really they could have walked to his mom's, but for knowing she would probably load them up with food, they used the car as an excuse. Though when Alex looks the house over as Jake cuts the engine, he is also pleased that they did drive, so they could get home even quicker. He _likes_ the idea of lounging around the house for the rest of the day with nothing else to do. He is _happy_ to be home.

Alex loves this house. He likes the decking area most for its tranquil views over the sprawling back yard that backs on to a lake. The living room is a triangular shape that he'd thought would take some getting used to, though Alex has grown to appreciate; grey and blue furniture and walls and all. Without intending it, Jake has provided Alex with a home that is perfectly easy to get around, even without installing any adaptions; not that he hasn't offered repeatedly, of course. The kitchen, utility room, and every surface downstairs is at the perfect height for him to move around comfortably without his prosthetic. He is comfortable using the wide staircase with its sturdy banister, and his bedroom is a perfect retreat, all white and wood with lots of natural light to keep it bright and open. And the bathroom that is one of two mains that Alex uses just for himself is a dream; he couldn't have asked for a more accessible, comfortable bath and shower set up if he tried.

"You too full even for beer?" Jake asks once they are inside, already in the kitchen before Alex has his boots off.

"No. That, I can do."

"Good."

Alex doesn't flinch for the fabric flying through the air and hitting him in the chest, grabbing the familiar pair of shorts before they fall to the ground. He passes Jake in the kitchen to use the small half-bathroom downstairs that is a lifesaver for Alex for meaning he doesn't have to climb the stairs all day long when he's working, stripping down and taking off his prosthetic before pulling on his shorts. These shorts they keep in a closet in the utility room so if Alex's leg is hurting, or he just wants his prosthetic off, he always has something to hand to change into. Alex joins Jake on the decking once he is ready, smiling that he is already sprawled out on a lounger and doing the same with a contented sigh.

"My mother. She likes you. A lot," Jake says, picking up one of the beers from the table between them and holding it for Alex to knock his against.

"I like her too."

"It's been good for her, I think. Having another person to fuss over. I kept talking about getting her a _dog_, but you're _much _more interesting."

Alex waits for Jake to look so he can pull the perfect face, grinning when Jake throws his head back laughing.

"Seriously. Thanks, Alex."

"What for?"

"For being so... I don't know. Accepting that you've basically been taken in by the whole Flores family? It must be a lot. _We_ must be a lot. I'd get it if you were a bit... I don't know. Overwhelmed by it all, or something."

Alex thinks it should be him thanking Jake for welcoming him in, but he only nods his head and raises his bottle in thanks. Jake gets what he means anyway. That's the beauty of the easy friendship they have. Jake never pushes him too hard to talk, yet does know the perfect time to ask when he needs to. Alex has learned to do the same with him, meaning there is yet to be an angry word between them. Alex hasn't felt anything but _at home_ since arriving.

Jake won't even let Alex feel guilty for staying at his house rent-free. Alex tries to do most of the grocery shopping to make up for it in some way, but every time he turns around Jake has put more things away in the kitchen that he didn't even see him buy. Living here and seeing Jake's life tells him the Flores family is wealthy, but Alex will never be comfortable not doing _something_ to pay his way, despite that.

"I think mom was fishing, a little," Jake adds then. Alex drags his gaze back from where he'd started to watch a boat passing on the lake, waiting for Jake to explain. When he doesn't, he gives him a prompt.

"Fishing about what?"

"To see if you were free at all this week?"

"I can be if she needs something? I think so, anyway. I can move appointments if—"

"No. No, you don't need to move anything; it's okay. You're just setting up; it's important."

Alex is working to set up a business that sees him creating secure data entry systems, securing websites and servers that already exist, and anything else related to coding and computers he can use his skills for. Jake even helped with that, putting Alex in touch with some family and friends here who needed help. Alex is taking his time with it all, though already loving what he does. It's _helpful_ that he is probably going to earn a good living doing it.

"What does she need?" Alex asks, because if Mrs. Flores needs something there is little he won't do, or move around, to help her out.

Jake continues to take his time to answer, which clues Alex in to how important this really is. "It's the anniversary of my father's death on Wednesday. It'll be twenty years. We normally have a dinner, just the two of us—which you'd be welcome to, if you wanted; she already told me she wants you there if you wanted to come."

"Of course. If I'm not intruding, I'd love to." Alex knows only a little about Jake's father. He knows he died serving, and that the reason Jake joined the army was to honor his memory. He also knows how relieved Mrs. Flores is that Jake is now out of the army and back home.

"Normally on the day of the anniversary—while I've been away, obviously—Mom's spent the day with aunts, uncles, cousins. Whoever is around. It's just really bad timing this week that everyone is busy with other things."

"I'm not," Alex tells him quickly. He isn't; his appointments with new clients are on Tuesday and Thursday. He'll be working from home, and _resting_ the other days.

"You don't have to—"

"I'm free. Really. I'm not canceling anything. What does she need me to do?"

"Just keep her company, a little? She might want to put flowers on his grave, or... drag out really embarrassing old family photos so she can reminisce a little," Jake says, looking horrified for the thought though also accepting of the fact that it is going to happen. "But seriously, Alex; you don't have to."

"And I want to. Really. Your whole family welcomed me here so easily. Your mom in particular. Of course I'll keep her company. Whatever you think she needs."

"She'll keep you busy," Jake warns, already smiling at him in thanks. "Might have you helping with dinner, or whatever else she thinks of. She'll _feed_ you until you burst, but that's a given."

"It's no problem for me. I _want_ to."

"Yeah?"

"_Yes_."

"Alex, seriously. _Thank_ you," Jake says with a look of such sincerity, Alex feels _warm_ for it. And welcome here even more than ever. Which is silly since he already was. But on this drowsy Sunday afternoon with nothing to do, and nowhere else to be, Alex will take that sense of _belonging_. He lets his head fall back against the sun lounger, turns his eyes back out over the lake, and takes a sip of his beer.

"So. You know about my dad," Alex says, smiling when Jake snorts in derision.

"Oh, yeah. The great spectacle that is _Jesse Manes_. Yeah, I've heard about him."

Much of what Jake knows about Jesse is from Alex himself, but Jake has heard some stories about Alex's father from other sources that makes Alex wonder just how far-reaching his manipulation and blackmail must be.

"I don't know much about _your_ dad," Alex adds. "I don't know; do you think you want to talk about him? You don't have to, obviously. But—"

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything you feel like sharing?" Alex says, not wanting to push, though also wanting to listen, if Jake feels like talking. He smiles as Jake rearranges himself on his lounger, propping up on his side.

"Well. I'll tell you what I remember. But I'm sure Mom will have all kinds of other things to share."

Alex turns to mirror him, listening as Jake speaks about his childhood, aware of nothing else around them but the soft Sunday afternoon breeze.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey. C'mon, Alex; wake up."

Alex startles awake for the voice calling his name, shrinking back into the couch with a gasp. His eyes adjust to the dark enough for him to make out Jake's outline stood before him, the sight of him letting Alex release the breath he'd been holding on to. Jake gestures with his hands still raised, nudging against Alex's leg with his foot.

"Hey. You okay?"

"I think so?"

"Enough for me to put a light on?"

"Yes." Alex watches the shadow of Jake move across the lounge, thankful that it is the soft light of a lamp that adds some brightness to the room instead of something harsher.

"Dreaming?"

"Yes."

"Drink?"

"_Yes_."

Alex straightens up, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes to wake up better, rolling his neck for having fallen asleep sat up. As he listens to Jake moving around the kitchen, he presses a hand over his heart willing it to stop racing, flicking the throw he's been using as a blanket back so Jake can sit down. He watches him lower a bottle of scotch to the floor with two glasses, then takes the bottle of water Jake had wedged in the crook of his arm from his extended hand.

"Hydrate first. Then dehydrate."

Alex takes long gulps of water as Jake pours them a drink, thankful that they have this routine. It isn't often, thankfully, that either of them has nightmares, but since they both share similar experiences each knows what to do to help the other out. Jake tugs on the edge of throw folded back across Alex's lap, draping it over his own as he moves closer.

"Cold?" Alex asks pressing back, smiling when Jake grumbles for him to rest his head on his shoulder.

"It's three in the morning. Of course I'm cold. Can't believe you even fell asleep like this."

"I was working," Alex replies, which is at least in part true. He had been working on a database, and it is what he returned to when he couldn't sleep. The laptop that is still open on his knee miraculously hadn't slipped in Alex's sleep. It gets lowered to the floor and its lid closed, abandoned until much later in the day.

"All work and no play and... all that stuff."

"I played yesterday," Alex points out, thinking of the hours he spent in the swimming pool out back when it was far too nice weather outside to be working. Having his own pool has done wonders for his leg, taking away any stress and tension in it when it has been overused, or is cramping.

"True."

"And Monday we went to the bar," Alex adds, with even fonder memories of a bar that he and Jake have been going to for a few weeks now. Alex never thought he'd sing in front of another person, but when Jake's uncle gifted him a guitar after Alex mentioned he used to play, Alex started playing again, and writing songs. He doesn't think they're anything special, but for the freedom and joy he feels sat up on that small stage taking turns with the other would-be musicians who come for the laid-back open mike night the bar hosts, Alex feels lighter than he has in years.

"We did. You and all those groupies," Jake teases as he knocks his head against Alex's. Alex smiles for it, turning his face into Jake's shoulder before sitting back up.

"You should try."

"Me? No. I'm tone deaf. Can't hold a note. They might pay me to stop singing."

"I'm sure it's not that bad."

"Believe me," Jake says, laughing as he drains his glass, gesturing with the bottle to see if Alex needs a top up. "You don't want that. No one wants that."

Alex accepts more scotch and the two of them sit in comfortable silence, staring out across the room. The bookshelves opposite are now filled with a dozen or so of his own books, there is a misshapen figurine of what Jake tells him is a dinosaur—a gift to Alex from one of Jake's youngest cousins, and there are a collection of shells that Alex picked up on a morning walk along the beach.

There are touches of Alex everywhere in this house now. His own coffee cup with a chili pepper on it since Jake accuses him of making _everything_ he cooks spicy. The throw they are currently under because Alex _likes_ blankets and pillows and all sorts of other soft things. The downstairs bathroom has a honey-scented handmade soap that Alex liked the look of at a farmer's market, so bought for them to share. And of course he caved, let Jake put in a couple of handgrips around the house when Jake caught him _hopping_ and decided it was too far.

This is Alex's home. He'd never put much thought into having one, much less sharing one with such a good friend. Though Alex _is_ home; more content in his space than he thinks he ever has been. Even on a night where he couldn't sleep and nightmares came to call.

"So. What flavor was this dream?" Jake says after a while, moving back across the couch so Alex has room to speak; yet another of their routines for things like this. Alex doesn't know if he will ever be able to show Jake how grateful he is for their friendship.

"Distinctly desert-flavored," Alex replies, smiling when Jake raises an eyebrow.

"Are we talking New Mexico, or somewhere further afield?"

"Oh. Definitely further afield."

They talk about Roswell sometimes, and _Michael_, of course. In fact, there isn't much about Alex's life Jake doesn't know about by now. Michael's secret is the only thing he will never tell him; that is something he'll take to the grave to keep him safe. But everything else he has no reason to keep from Jake. Jake shares all the details of _his_ life with him too; why would Alex hold anything back?

"So, desert flavored with a side of... injury?" Jake asks with a nod at Alex's stump. "Or is it something more bland?"

"Definitely the vanilla kind of desert flavor."

Jake nods, turning to sit cross-legged, listening as Alex tells him of the dream where he was back on a mission where so many things had gone to hell. The words come freely, Jake so easy to talk to and never one to judge. He also gets it, can come up with anecdotes of his own that make Alex feel less alone when he gets lost in his memories of serving. By the time he's finished, Alex is at peace again. He laughs, because it's still taking time to get used to the fact that life can be this _easy_. And Jake laughs, because he knows exactly what he is thinking.

"C'mon, Fly Boy, I think it's time for bed for us both," Jake says as he stands, picking up their glasses and Alex's water bottle to return to the kitchen.

Alex stands, balancing against the couch as he stretches before straightening up the throw over the arm of it. "Former Fly Boy. And besides, what happened to IT Guy?"

"You only get called that when you wear those cute glasses."

"I don't even know where they are."

"Here," Jake calls, waving said glasses as he sticks his head around the corner. "Where you left them. On the fridge."

"I'll remember."

"No, you won't."

"Fine. _You'll_ remember."

"That I will," Jake agrees, waving his hands so Alex knows to make his way upstairs first. He always does; quietly watching to see if he needs anything yet never doing anything to take Alex's agency. Alex truly doesn't know what his life would be like if he didn't have amazing friends like Jake in it.

"Maybe I'll leave with you tomorrow. Walking, though. Not running," Alex says when they are both outside their bedroom doors. He might use Jake's treadmill and weights from time to time, but _running_ has never really been his thing. But an early morning walk before he starts his day could be perfect. Jake salutes him as he opens his door.

"I'll ask again when I'm up. In case you decide your duvet's a better place to be than outside."

"We'll see. Sleep well?"

"You too," Jake says, nodding for Alex to go into his room. He turns off the hallway light once Alex is in calling out a, _goodnight_ after him. Alex sinks into his bed after answering, and pulls that duvet up around his ears, sound asleep in just a few minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

Jake is up to something. Alex keeps catching him looking suspicious, freezing with a fixed smile on his face every time he sees him around the house. Alex isn't worried; knowing Jake and his family, they are all going to descend on them this evening with a _banquet_ of food to help Alex celebrate his birthday. It is just that Jake is _so_ bad at being sneaky that Alex has to fight the urge to laugh every time he catches him with the same look of surprise.

Alex doesn't really do birthdays. He's had some celebrations overseas while serving, and has an early memory of Mrs. Valenti making him a birthday cake when he was really young. But in between Alex doesn't have many good things to reminisce about birthdays for. Even the one he was excited to celebrate because he got to share it with Michael ended with them arguing.

He'd intended letting this year slip by as a result of past experiences, but Jake must have put out some message in a group chat Alex isn't aware of with half of Sea Cliff, judging by the entire wall of birthday cards he is currently staring at. Cards, various gifts, even a free lunch delivered by their favorite deli because Jake has literally told the world what today is; Alex is even debating whether he really needs to do the little shopping he'd intended for wondering how many happy birthdays will be yelled at him. He thinks the entire neighborhood has come to the house to wish him well this morning.

"What? No," Jake says when Alex voices his thoughts of staying at home, eyes wide in alarm; how is he _not_ up to something? "No, you go. You wanted to get that gadget, cable, cord, _thing_. The computer thing. So go get it."

Alex thinks to explain exactly what it is he's picking up just for knowing how cross-eyed with confusion Jake will be by the time he has finished talking. But he doesn't, only raises an eyebrow challenging Jake to give him a reason to go.

Jake only smiles at him, a _lot_ too brightly, then hands him a list of other things he wants him to get. Things Alex happens to know Jake doesn't really need. When they went grocery shopping together last week the _toothpaste, shaving foam,_ and _deodorant_ he is asking Alex to get were all on his list. He could be ornery and go into Jake's bathroom, point out all of these items still unopened on his shelves. But Alex likes to think he is a good friend, so he only pretends to mumble a complaint before leaving without another word.

* * *

Jake really is up to something.

Alex knows this because pretty much every person he passes in the street has stopped him to say hello, delay him where he needs to be just a few minutes longer. He doesn't mind, really, is bemused more than anything that Jake would go to all this effort to surprise him with a dinner. Though by the time he finally has his purchase and is silently pleading with the storekeeper to quit talking and just let him leave, all Alex really wants to do is be at home.

There are cars on the drive Alex doesn't recognize. He smiles for assuming that these must belong to various members of the Flores family, or friends Jake has invited that he doesn't recognize the plates of. Alex climbs out of his car trying to work out which each might belong to, sure he catches a murmur of talking drifting from the yard. Though there is nothing but silence to greet him when he walks into the house, almost like it is holding its breath like he is. Alex jolts when Jake sticks his head in through the open doors leading out to the decking, grinning at him and waving him forward.

"You're back in good time."

Alex nods, smiling back at him as he lowers his bags to his usual spot beside the end of the couch. "Almost perfectly timed."

Jake _beams_ at him, beckoning Alex forward, grabbing him by the forearm and gently guiding him outside. Across the decking and scattered into the yard are decorations, tables of food, and more importantly than anything, Alex's friends.

"I thought, you wouldn't mind if we had a few house guests for the evening," Jake says as he slings an arm around his shoulder and squeezes, waving to the corner of the decking in particular. Alex doesn't really have the chance to look, though, for Nadim charging towards him, yelling _birthday boy_ at Alex before he picks him up and swings Alex around.

Alex clings on tight, laughing as he spins him, sure Nadim is even larger than he was the last time they saw each other in person. When Nadim lowers him he grabs Alex by the arms, tilting him back pretending to check him over.

"You're looking well," Nadim says, tilting Alex's chin up before he pulls him into a breath-stealing hug. Alex hugs him back, laughing into the thick bicep his head has come to rest against, then looking up, and _up_, when Nadim finally lets go of him.

"You're looking pretty good yourself."

"Nadim was conveniently on leave," Jake tells Alex when he steps forward to join him. "When I answered his Skype when you were in the kitchen making coffee?" he adds, reading Alex's mind probably for wondering when the two of them might have talked.

"Okay, okay, my turn."

Alex turns, arms already extended for hearing Sarah's voice, wrapping her up in a less aggressive hug. There is a _little_ squealing between them when she holds up her hand in excitement to show Alex the engagement ring her now-fiancee Keira finally put on her finger. And then everyone else is there to hug him, once again wishing Alex a happy birthday like half of them have been doing all day. This isn't a _dinner_ Jake has organized, it's a _party_. Alex is more touched than he can say, though will make his appreciation known later. Probably in a drunken, bumbled speech, judging by all the alcohol already flowing.

All of Jake's family are there, along with so many neighbors from their street. Mike, who runs the open mic night, is mingling with some of them along with six others Alex and Jake have made friends with by going to Mike's bar. Anya and Ishmail, two servers from Alex's favorite cafe who have now roped him into a book club are there as well, apparently in deep discussion over the contents of a sandwich. And there are more still who Alex has come to know, or be friendly with since moving to San Francisco. Alex is _shocked_, really, that so many people would show up to an event for _him_.

Though it is the sight of _Kyle Valenti_ appearing with a bag still slung over his shoulder and a sheepish look on his face, that surprises Alex most of all. He stands there clutching a flute of champagne sure his eyes are deceiving him as Kyle approaches. Jake takes one look at Kyle, mumbles a _glad you could come_ as he shakes his hand, then slaps Kyle on the shoulder as he takes his bag inside.

"Sorry I'm late; I think my taxi got a little lost."

Alex steps towards him on autopilot far more stunned than he would like to be, catching the slight shrug of Kyle's shoulders that he _thinks_ means _aren't you going to hug me too_? So he does, confused, and happy, really, to see him. Him and Kyle talk a lot, far more than he'd expected to when he left Roswell. Him showing up for his birthday after sending him a card already, Alex wouldn't have expected at all. Not for _anything_.

"Taxi?"

"Yeah. I flew out. I would've taken more time if I could, but I could only get a couple days off. So... are we gonna join your birthday party, or are you just gonna keep standing here staring at me?" Kyle adds, awkwardly though playfully turning so his arm bumps against Alex's. "Introduce to your new friends." Alex nods, leading Kyle through the yard to do exactly that.

* * *

"You've really got a life set up here," Kyle says hours later after food, and drink, and so much laughter and joy. Alex has been hugged and shown affection more times than he can count, never spending more than a couple of minutes without someone new coming to check he is enjoying himself. The only time he has been without a plate of food or glass in his hand is the couple of times he's been into the house to use the bathroom. Really, Alex has _never_ experienced a night quite like this.

Alex got to meet Nadim's wife Kerry, and Sarah's fiancee Keira, both of whom had held back initially so their respective partners could have a little time alone with Alex. Jake has already agreed to be Alex's plus-one at Sarah and Keira's wedding, and over the course of the evening, Alex has been shown, over and over, just how much he is loved. It is humbling, really, which is probably part of the reason the alcohol hasn't got to him too much. That, and Jake constantly appearing with glasses of water and making sure he eats at regular intervals.

Alex looks over the mostly-dwindled party, the few members of the Flores family still here shooing Alex away when he tried to help clean up, and nods in answer to Kyle. "I really do."

"You're happy here," Kyle adds, leaning against the railing of the decking beside him, nursing what Alex thinks is probably going to be his last beer of the night.

"More than I can possibly tell you."

"I'm happy for you."

"I know you are. Thank you. Thank you for coming out here," Alex adds, still stunned that all this effort has been made by so many people for him. Sarah and Nadim booked hotels the moment Jake contacted them about the surprise party, and just about everyone Alex knows here in Sea Cliff rallied around to help put this thing together. Which would explain why there was _so_ much food and drink. He and Jake will be living on leftovers for days.

"Of course. Wasn't gonna see you any other way, now, was I?" Kyle teases, and though Alex knows that, it is still a slight punch to his stomach. He lets his gaze fall down between where his forearms rest on the railing, not really looking at anything at all.

"Well. If you mean, I'm never coming back to Roswell. You're right. I won't be. I don't think."

Kyle nods, and when Alex looks, there is a pinched smile on his face. "I know. And I don't blame you. Seriously."

"What would I be coming back to?"

"Is that an actual question, or a rhetorical one?"

"Rhetorical. Mostly." Alex doesn't want to know, though also does, and doesn't know how to ask.

Again Kyle nods, having the same uncanny ability Jake does to read him without Alex really saying a word. "I don't know, Alex. I don't really see him, you know? Not really in my circle. Hell, I see _Isobel_ more than any of them."

Alex is intrigued. "Why?"

"I have _no_ idea," Kyle says, which only poses more questions. Though curious as Alex is, it isn't Isobel he really wants to know about.

"So. He's okay? From what you know, I mean."

"If by _okay_, you mean _is he still with Maria?—_"

He didn't mean that. But of course he also _did_.

"No," Kyle says, sighing as he straightens up to properly look at Alex. "No. I don't think they even made it a couple of weeks. Honestly? I don't think he should_—_I think maybe he should have taken just some time to deal with Max being gone. And then back. And then _Rosa_ being back_—"_

"Wait," Alex says, grabbing his arm. "_Max_ is okay? _Rosa_?"

Kyle groans, and Alex thinks he hears him mumble, _oh boy_ under his breath, before he really catches Alex up on all he's missed. Alex can't take it in, sure it will take a few days to process it all. Mostly, he feels relief, that he is not involved anymore. Which will probably morph into guilt when he thinks of Project Shepherd and everything else, though right now Alex can't let himself think about that.

"I think he'd be pissed if he knew I was here," Kyle adds when he's finished, with a rueful huff of laughter.

"Why?"

"You know how much Michael hates me."

Alex does. And a part of him once thought that hatred had roots in jealousy. It's not something he lets himself dwell on anymore.

"Anyway. From what I hear, Michael's just the same old Michael. Working at Sanders. Getting thrown in the drunk tank once every couple of weeks. Nothing changes."

Alex _aches_ to hear it. Michael could have so much in his life, if only he would give himself the chance to. Alex also misses him, the weight of it agonizing in that moment, though knows more than anything there is no turning back. He can only wish Michael well from where he is, hope that he finds his purposes and self-worth. He says as much to Kyle, earning himself a derisive snort of laughter that he immediately nudges him in the arm for.

"He's been through a lot, Kyle. Seriously."

"So have you. So have a lot of people."

"Really, though. He's had so much happen to him. _I_ put him through some of it," Alex adds, not sure he will ever fully be able to stop remembering all the hurt he's caused Michael, and how many times he's walked away from him knowing what it would do to him. They loved each other for so long, and who knows, maybe they still do. But if they keep _wounding_ one another, being apart is the kindest thing. To take himself out of the equation and hope for better things for Michael is probably the greatest gift Alex can give him.

"You're better off here," Kyle says, giving him a look that says _don't you dare come back_. Alex wouldn't, though he is grateful to see Kyle's agreement with his choices. They catch up for a little longer, Kyle agreeing to come to a breakfast he is having with just Nadim and Sarah since Jake will be at work. Jake catches them looking at him as he ties off yet another trash bag, waving Alex away when he gestures to come and help.

"So. Jake seems like a decent guy," Kyle says when Alex and Kyle have finished pretending to flip one another off, and Jake has covered up a stumble over some discarded cans by pretending to pirouette.

"He _is_," Alex agrees, snorting with laughter as Jake continues to dance his way to the trash cans to the side of the house.

"How'd he get my number? To call me about this thing?"

Alex has been thinking about that. About a month ago, he and Jake had been sitting out on the decking after a barbecue, a little drunk, half-dozing on their sun loungers. Alex had made a quip about Jake making half his high school students swoon in the shirt he'd been wearing earlier, and Jake had retorted that he wanted _Kyle's_ number so he could come and collect him, take him back to Roswell. Alex had _given_ Jake Kyle's number, then immediately forgotten doing so because of the beer pushed into his hand.

"He _tricked_ you," Kyle says, laughing and looking delighted.

"He... probably," Alex says, now laughing himself.

"He's really looking out for you," Kyle adds with a shift in tone that has Alex standing straighter, shaking his head in denial. Of _anything_. Anything at all that Kyle might be insinuating.

"He is."

"And he sure makes you _smile_ like I've never seen."

"Yes. It's something that _friends_ do, apparently. So I'm learning, anyway," Alex retorts in teasing.

Kyle holds his hands up, closing his eyes and pretending to be offended. "_Ouch_."

"_You_ make me smile," Alex says, nudging against Kyle's arm.

"Aww."

"You _do_."

"Not like _he_ does," Kyle teases right back, waving when Jake calls out a goodnight.

"Would you _stop_?"

"Oh. I could do this all night." Kyle would as well. He has that glint in his eye that says _mischief_.

"And here was me thinking you'd be tired by now."

"And miss the chance to catch up with you? Wind you up a little? Alex. No way."

"Does that mean you want something else to drink? Maybe inside? I think it's just us now."

"Lead the way," Kyle says, following Alex into the house.

* * *

Before Alex goes to bed, when he has helped Kyle make his bed up on the couch, he knocks softly on Jake's bedroom door, wincing for the thought that he might be waking him. He hears Jake moving around, steps back when Jake opens the door, smiling when he sleepily peers out.

"Hey," Jake whispers as he stands straighter; it's late, so Alex doesn't blame him. Jake probably thinks Kyle is already asleep downstairs. "Everything okay?"

"Everything is great. Really. Sorry; I shouldn't have woke you."

"It's alright. You have a good time tonight?"

Alex sighs, sagging. How is he supposed to put into words how he feels about all of this? He can't, so Alex only holds out his arms, smiling when Jake steps into them and hugs him back. "_Thank you_," Alex whispers against his shoulder, closing his eyes for the soothing hands stroking over his back.

"Any time, Alex," Jake replies, bumping his forehead against his shoulder, squeezing him again before letting Alex go.

Alex climbs into bed a little later smiling for just how happy, and lucky he feels.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jake pulls the car into the parking lot of the hotel that will be theirs for the next couple of nights, Alex thinks perhaps they have the wrong location.

"Are you sure it's here?" he asks as he looks around, taking in sprawling gardens, luxurious buildings that make up the hotel itself, and everything else around them that speaks of _opulence_.

"Well. That's what it says on the invite," Jake says tugging the invitation in its envelope from the glove compartment and checking it again.

Why Alex didn't realize they'd be staying in a room in the actual hotel Sarah and Keira are marrying in, he isn't sure. It has been a busy couple of weeks for Alex, his freelance work now at a point where he has orders stacked up weeks in advance. To make sure he was free for this wedding Alex has worked extra hard to get everything fit in. As a result, Jake has been the one to prompt him for so many things. Like getting a suit, and gift, and even packing a bag for their two nights away. Even making sure they turned up at the right venue, Alex thinks, chiding himself for being so disorganized as Jake rolls his eyes at him and bumps against his shoulder before climbing out.

Their room is just as impressive as Alex would expect given the hotel's exterior. It might be a twin, but Alex thinks if he stands on one side of the room and Jake on the other they'd have to raise their voices to hear. Everything is cream, and luxurious, and so perfectly laid out that Alex doesn't really want to disturb anything. Jake insists he takes the bed nearest the bathroom since the room is so spacious and it will be easier for Alex in the night.

"Did you want to go see Sarah and Keira now?" Jake asks when they've finished exploring the room. Alex checks the time on his phone as Jake mumbles to himself about being left to hang up their suits so they don't crease. Alex smiles in apology, earning himself a frustrated huff of laughter and a squeeze to his upper arm.

"I don't know if we have time? They're having their rehearsal dinner soon."

Alex and Jake have been traveling for most of the day. An early drive to the airport followed by a two hour flight, then a stop over, and another flight to get them here to Indianapolis before picking up their hire car to get them here; all Alex really wants to do is _sleep_. Though if they can catch Sarah and Keira before they start their dinner, maybe he and Jake can do similar. Grab something to eat, and then sleep, or at least rest for a while.

Alex checks the last message Sarah sent for their room number, nodding for Jake to come with him.

"Are you sure?" Jake asks, hands flaring out automatically when Alex stumbles.

"Of course."

"And your leg?"

"I won't be on it for much longer."

"Room service," Jake insists, gesturing that he'll follow him out. "We'll go say hi, then eat here. Get that leg off you."

Alex would think of something smart to argue back with but of course Jake is right. His stump is _smarting_; it has been, really, since the first flight. Jake looks at him to say he _knows_ but is good enough not to say anything. Though he does keep a mostly discreet eye on him as they ride the elevator and walk the long hallway to Sarah and Keira's room.

Their meeting with Sarah and Keira is brief; and alcoholic. Sarah drags them both in handing champagne flutes over, both her and Keira in the middle of getting ready for their dinner. Which doesn't prevent a pause in their preparations to welcome _them_. Alex and Jake even get half a bottle of champagne to take back to their room when they walk Sarah and Keira to the elevator on their way down to their dinner.

"Change. Now," Jake says the moment they are in. Alex laughs in response, though is already on his way to the bathroom.

"Bossy."

"And you love me for it."

"Yes. I suppose I do," Alex says, already sighing in relief the moment he starts taking his prosthetic off. All the pressure that had been building up in it is gone; Alex is thankful that it doesn't look swollen, or too red.

"Want me to take a look?" Jake asks, stood in the door brandishing his _stick_, which Alex loathes but accepts without complaint. If he's going to be any good at this wedding, be a part of celebrating his friend's big day, then he really needs to rest his leg.

"Just because you're now a first aider at school doesn't mean you have to bring it home."

"We're not _at_ home," Jake retorts, pinging Alex's shorts at him and cheering when Alex catches them one-handed.

"That is _not_ my point."

"I don't know about you. but I'm _starving_," Jake says the moment he is sure Alex is okay. Alex finds him flopped down on the end of his bed checking through the hotel room service menu when he walks back in. "What do you feel like? If I see another sandwich after all we had on the way here, I might barf. Or cry. Or both, actually."

Alex pours them the last of the champagne one-handed, taking Jake over his glass. "What's on the menu?"

"Everything, I think?"

Alex sits when Jake pats the bed beside him so they can open the menu out over their laps. It is Jake's hand that darts out when Alex props his stick up against bed behind them and catches it before it falls. Jake winks at him when he looks, which forces laughter to bubble up in Alex's throat. He even forgets why they are sat there for a moment, before Jake gives him a put-upon sigh and waves the menu at him. Alex decides his brain has every right to be a little addled considering the chaos of his last few days, and all this traveling.

"_That_," he says the moment he sees a large steak dinner with all the trimmings, his stomach already growling in protest.

"Oh, me too. I'm gonna order, then shower, then... that's my plan. That's everything in my head right now."

"I'm not complaining," Alex says, drinking his champagne as he watches Jake going through his bag for something to change into. He follows his path across the room to the bathroom then stands, grabbing his stick and deciding to step out on to the balcony while he waits his turn.

The view is beautiful; gardens and trees, and even a small lake in the distance. Sarah and Keira are going to have some incredible wedding photos, of that he is sure. The weather promises to be good. The guest list Alex presumes to be huge judging from how many of rooms they passed with Sarah and Keira that seemed to be reserved for he wedding. It's good; Alex remembers first meeting Sarah, and even back then talking about the most perfect of weddings.

Alex can't quite believe he is here. On the journey over, he and Jake worked out that he has been in San Francisco for almost two years. It will be two years exactly three weeks from now, in fact. The knowledge of it has put Alex in a thoughtful mood, reminiscing over a life that he had never really thought much about.

Roswell is so far in his past, it's hard to believe how difficult it had been making the decision to leave. Now, looking back, Alex can only thank himself for having the strength to do it. He has friends, a family that has embraced him as one of its own, work he couldn't enjoy more if he tried, and so many things he likes doing when not working.

He also has _Jake_, the friend who has never once faltered over the years Alex has known him, who offered him a lifeline when Alex had most needed it. Who has come with him to this wedding even though he doesn't really like flying, and is exhausted after a really hard semester. Jake is _good_; Alex hopes he knows how much he appreciates him.

Alex still struggles with the reality that is a lack of argument between them. Their house is spacious, but that doesn't mean when one of them is in a bad mood the other doesn't need some space on their own. Though even when that happens, neither one of them really feels like the other is intruding when they see each other. if anything, it improves their moods. Alex grew up in a house with angry siblings and an angrier father, and anger outside the family home; even anger to a point between those he was serving with. To know _peace_ shouldn't feel as strange as it does at times, though he is adjusting. With _Jake_ right there with him giving Alex all the time he needs.

Even over dinner there is nothing but simple camaraderie between them. Jake helps himself to some of Alex's green beans while Alex spears extra fries from his plate without a word. When Alex's water glass is empty he takes a sip from Jake's without even asking, and Jake changes the channel on the TV without checking what Alex wants on. A typical evening routine. No snide words or angry conversations, just simple, silent company. Alex wouldn't have it any other way.

"Are you looking forward to tomorrow?" Jake asks when they climb into their beds just as soon as they are sure they won't have indigestion.

Alex takes his time to answer for just how comfortable his bed is after such a long day. "Yes. I think so. I know I can't wait to see Sarah get married. She and Keira have been together maybe... nine years now. I think Sarah would have married her after _one_."

"Like that, is it?"

"Like what?"

"People who are meant to be together and just don't get the time to make it formal?"

Alex thinks over Jake's words, and refrains from easing him for being so wise. Only because he's tired. "I think so. Sarah's just finished her third and last tour. Keira's been studying to become a doctor. Their schedules haven't exactly been helpful."

Alex listens to Jake shifting around getting comfortable, smiling for knowing he is a fidget. When they are at home watching something together on the couch, he often accuses Jake of being a cat that needs to turn three times before finding a good spot to sit in.

"Well," Jake says when he settles. "They get tomorrow now. Long time in the making, but probably to them even more worth the wait because of it."

Alex smiles at the thought. "I think so."

"I think that's the thing about finding your people," Jake says with a thoughtful tone that makes Alex think he's been mulling his words over. Alex turns his head, watching Jake's outline in bed.

"What is?"

"Sometimes you get lucky. Meet them right away, and everything works out immediately. Then you have people like Sarah and Keira, who meet, and have to wait a while to get everything in place."

"And what kind of person are you?" Alex teases, since relationships aren't ever things Jake talks about. Now he _is_ talking, Alex is curious. Not because Jake ever changes the subject when it comes up, or anything, but rather that he doesn't ever seem to have anything he wants to say about it.

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

Alex listens to Jake shifting to get comfortable again and smiles for it.

"I think I'm the kind of person who finds their people and holds on to them. All the whys and hows don't matter too much; I like to think I figure things out along the way. I like to think when I have my people, they know how important they are to me. That's all that matters."

Alex isn't sure he's really answered the question at all, but it's been a long day, and they are both exhausted. So he hums a non-committal response, takes one final look around the room in the dark, and lets his eyes fall closed.

"What about you, Alex?"

Alex shakes his head against the pillow. "Me?"

"Yeah. What kind of a person are you when it comes to... you know. Your people? When you find them and... all of that?"

Alex smiles for having no idea how to answer that. He has come to the conclusion that he is probably like Jake; content not to be in a relationship. He'd thought he wanted that once, and that he needed to feel _that_ kind of love to experience what love might mean. He still falls asleep sometimes thinking of sweet smiles and soft curls, waking wistfully from dreams where Michael is _his_. But that was never meant to be, and since moving to San Francisco, Alex has learned to experience all other kinds of love. He is _content_ with his life as it is, whatever that means.

"I think, maybe I have all the people in my life I really need, right now. And that I'm... happy with the people who are my people. That's enough; more than enough."

Alex is _sure_ he can hear Jake smiling at him though is too tired to turn his head, and put on a light to check.

"Makes sense, Alex," Jake says, with softness in his voice that deepens Alex's smile. "Get some sleep?"

"You too," Alex calls out, turning on his side away from Jake, listening to him still moving around to get comfortable. He smiles again for the contented huff he gives when he finally stops moving, pressing his face into his pillow so that smile doesn't turn into laughter.

* * *

The wedding is perfect. Happy tears and happier smiles, a celebration of love that Alex is honored to be a part of. Sarah and Keira's families are warm and welcoming, the day a never-ending stream of hugs and affection.

Jake is flocked to by many; he says it's because he laughs too loud, while Alex says they can't help themselves be turned by a pretty head. Of course Jake drops that head into his neck attempting to hide for his words, which gets him nowhere; even makes it worse in a way, since Alex hears some people saying he is even more gorgeous for obviously being shy. They're right; Jake is _beautiful_ in his suit, and even more with that light blush on his cheeks. Alex thinks Jake should wear dark blue more often; it is a really good color on him. Alex keeps thinking this as he catches sight of him mingling with the wedding party.

"Protect me," Jake hisses at Alex when he has finished speaking to Sarah's sister Martha. Alex laughs when Jake insistently tugs on his arm then drapes it around his shoulder to keep him close.

"Is it that bad getting attention?"

"_Yes_," Jake insists as he squeezes him closer. Alex stops a passing waiter with a tray full of champagne flutes and takes one for them each, knocking his head against Jake's shoulder when he drinks his in three quick gulps.

"Well. Then I'll stay with you. Glare at anyone who comes within three feet."

"_Thank you_," Jake replies, mumbling it against his temple which puts a shiver down Alex's spine that is uncalled for.

"Thank you for coming with me," he replies, smiling when Jake adjusts his grip on him to drape his arm around his waist instead.

"For you? Anytime. Any_thing_, really."

Alex smiles his thanks again just as they are approached by Sarah's parents, launching into a conversation about the service and how much they are looking forward to the wedding meal. Jake's arm stays around him the entire time, with his fingers splayed wide at his hip. Alex's only thought is how natural it feels to be held as Jake is doing.

* * *

"Is any of this a little strange to you?" Alex asks as they dance later, surprised by how comfortable Jake is to dance with him—and that it was Jake who asked him to dance in the first place. He looks completely unfazed by it all, even happy to be swaying him in his arms. Which might just be projection on Alex's part. How much has he had to drink already?

"Strange?" Jake repeats, tilting his chin at Alex in the way he does when he wants an explanation for something.

"This?"

"What's 'this'?"

Now Alex feels silly for even having to point it out. "Well. It's... a pretty gay wedding."

Jake's gaze falls to Sarah and Keira still holding on to one another with so much love in their expressions that it feels like an intrusion to watch. His face twists up into a confused smile when he looks back at Alex. "Uh. Well. Yeah; I'd say on account of this being a lesbian wedding, it's pretty gay."

"Yes."

"So, I guess I don't get what you're asking me?"

Alex licks his lips feeling even more foolish. "I just... I guess I just wondered if—you're having fun, right?"

Jake's smile morphs from confused to thoroughly amused. "Alex. Are you thinking maybe you're on this dance floor with some kind of secretly bigoted asshole who can't stand to see people happy?"

"What? No—"

"Or," Jake continues, clearly getting a kick out of watching Alex squirm, "are you suggesting this whole wedding might be some kind of... alien concept to me? Like I might not belong here, or something?"

Alex now isn't sure what he meant at all. Is he? "...I don't know?"

Jake grins at him, his eyes darting over Alex's cheeks; is he blushing? He has to be blushing. It's so _warm_ in here. "You know, Alex. We've known each other, what; six, seven... has to be eight years now?" Alex nods in confirmation. "And not once in all that time have you asked me a single question about my sexuality."

"I guess—well, you've never really asked about mine," Alex retorts, which Alex knows is a lame argument considering how many times he must have mentioned Michael in the past. Though it also gives him time to pause, and ask his heart why it is starting to race like it is.

Jake closes his eyes, clearly fighting the urge to laugh. "Alex," he says as he drops his head to speak closer to his ear; _not_ making Alex shiver at all when he does. "The night we met, you were checking out half the guys in that bar. I even thought you were gonna disappear on me mid-conversation when one of them gave you the eye before going to the bathroom. I didn't really have to _ask_."

"It had been a while," is all Alex can say in response when he can force his words out, which only makes Jake laugh harder. He adjusts his grip on Alex's waist, grinning at him in delight.

"Well. If you _had_ asked me, then you would know that I'm pansexual. So there is absolutely no way on this earth that I'm gonna be fazed, or bothered, or concerned by a lesbian wedding, okay? I'm having a great time here with you. Don't worry."

This is _news_. So many moments in conversations between them in the past now make sense to Alex in a way they hadn't before. He feels a little as though he is viewing Jake in an entirely new light, and tells the excitement fluttering in his chest that it has no business fluttering.

And besides. What he'd _really_ meant with his question was if Jake minded being so close to _him_ for much of the day. Being introduced as _his_ guest as though everyone assumed they were together. Jake hadn't looked concerned at all; Alex thinks he's just waiting for some fallout, and this is his convoluted attempt at thwarting it. That, or he really needs to stop drinking all this champagne. "Seriously?" he says, when his words unstick, and it's the only one that works its way out.

"And also really, really, _really_ demisexual," Jake adds, which explains to Alex a lot more. The world has shifted for Alex in these past few minutes, and now it feels a little as though he has forgotten how to talk. Or maybe even how to think.

"Right."

"That's why I was saying all those things last night before we went to sleep," Jake says then, when Alex can't get anything else out.

"Oh?"

"About the people in our lives. _Our_ people."

Alex doesn't know if he is imagining Jake tugging him closer, or if the space closing between them is all on him. "Right. Okay. Good."

Jake gives him the most sweet but frustrated of smiles, adjusts the grip of his hands on Alex's waist, and lets his forehead bump softly then rest against Alex's. "_You're_ my people, Alex."

The world falls away, Alex's perspective shifting and morphing into something bright and hopeful that he hadn't imagined before. Not much, anyway. Only in the moments he caught himself thinking just how _good_ Jake is, and how he can't imagine life without him in his world. Only in moments like that.

There are things to talk about, and so many moments to re-evaluate of their time together with this new information. Though not now. Now they are here to help Sarah and Keira celebrate their wedding. Alex bites his lip, wanting to find the perfect thing to say that won't sound like a brush off. Because this isn't, and Jake's important, and the thought of hurting him in any way makes Alex _ache_ with worry.

Of course Jake looks at him with the most patient, understanding of smiles. Jake _gets_ him, in ways no one else ever has.

"We'll talk later," Alex promises, and because of all that champagne they've been drinking, feels brave enough to brush his lips over Jake's cheek. And then maybe his mouth. But only a little. Only enough to make him wonder why they aren't already back in their hotel room by now.

"We will. _Later_," Jake agrees, winking back at him, turning Alex faster when the tempo of the music speeds up. Alex clings on tight, and really lets himself smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is it! For now? This idea literally walked into my head at the weekend, took up residence demanding to be longer than one chapter, and is... whatever this is. Thank you for reading!


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